Hiya! Thanks for dropping by! This is all about online dating! Stories, readers’ comments, tips and advice on dating issues, sex and relationships. Nothing on this site requires any payment - it’s all free. So sit back, relax and enjoy!

We’ve been researching a whole load of sites so you don’t have to! Read our experiences and make your own mind up.

Sally, a legal exec. from north london says: “...wanted me to whip him hard with him naked and blindfolded and me dressed up all in black leather. Well maybe, but buy me a drink and talk to me first!” Read rest of story...

I got over a hundred emails in the first couple of days. I was just overwhelmed ... [more]

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We review online dating sites. Including Loopylove, Pocado, DatingDirect, Match,

PlentyofFish, freeDating and more. What makes a good dating profile? How should you “chat up” other members? When to arrange a date. Online dating is here to stay. Also we are seeing increases in speeddating, webcam dating, text dating etc.

Online Dating
Top Ten Tips for Guys
by Ben Janus in collaboration with Datezine

1. Girls often say “looks don’t matter”, or “it’s personality that counts”. So how comes they won’t talk to you simply because you don’t have a photo on your profile!? We rest our case!

2. You think your “copy and paste” message will impress the women? Uhuh! Don’t think so. If you are going for the mass marketing approach, at least make your copy and paste message sound unique. better still, just add a line to it that’s specific to the girl you’re contacting!

3. Think neuro-linguistic-programming. Works for Ros Jeffries and it can for you. think about the words you use when contacting someone. Read their profile. pick up on key words and fire back variations of them to build up an emotional connection from their point of view.

4. Sometimes you get a load of meaningless and unthoughtful rubbish from a woman who writes to you. Don’t feel the need to retaliate. At best, you’d be wasting your time, at worst you’ll get banned from the site.

5. If you think that an ongoing correspondence will improve your prospects, think again. there’s no point. You could be writing to someone for months only to find that when you meet it’s a huge disappointment. Don’t waste your time. Ask a woman out at the earliest of either 3-5 email exchanges or two weeks, whichever is the earliest. It’ll sort out the women who want to meet from the timewasters.

6. Women often say “no pervs”! Sure they do. What they mean is don’t send them a pic of your knob attached to your first message. Or don’t ask them what they like in bed or what you’d like to do with their arse. It’s not to say they are not interested, because they are, oh yes indeed, but there’s a time and a place, and it isn’t the initial email exchange.

7. Be respectful, be sincere, and understand that a woman, just like a man in fact, has feelings! No need to hurt them. But equally, don’t take any crap either! If a woman is a timewaster, and quite a lot of them are on online dating sites, don’t let them waste your time. Move on to someone worth your time.

8. Unfortunately, online dating, just like real life, is stacked in a female’s favour when it comes to relationships and dating. Women get hundreds of potential chasers, so they can sit back, pick and chose. Us guys have to do the chasing. So if you don’t get replies from every woman you write to, don’t lose sleep over it.

9. Choose a good site. Mind you, a lot of them prey on the vulnerabilty of singledom. But it’s not all doom and gloom. We’d suggest try some free sites first, and then move onto some paid ones once you’ve got the jist. Try not to get ripped off though. look carefully at the price plans, auto renewal terms and conditions and compare different paid sites.

10. If it doesn’t work for you, don’t let yourself get addicted. take a break for a few weeks, go to the pub or read a book, ie. do something else for a while!

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Guide to Upper Street, Angel Islington

DATING
Telling Your Friend She's Dating a Dick
By Sarah Rowland

She had all the telltale signs of a woman in love.

There was the the perma-smile, the upbeat attitude, the sudden loss of appetite and the ever-present glow that can't be faked with cosmetics.

 I wanted to be happy for her. After all, she had been slugging it out in the singleton trenches for as long as I had. But the problem was I didn't trust her new beau as far as I could throw him... and with good reason.

 I knew her boyfriend from back in the day. We even dated briefly in college and he wasn't exactly what I would call a follow-through guy. You know the kind -- comes on strong, keeps up the charm till you're good and smitten and then without warning, does a 180 and retreats so far back emotionally you wonder what the cold-hearted bastard is made of.

 A part of me wanted to speak up and warn her. But in the end, I decided to give her new man/my old flame the benefit of the doubt. I mean people act differently in relationships with different partners, right? Maybe I just wasn't the one for him.

 I also factored in the time that had elapsed -- it had more than 10 years since I hung out with him. So I thought, "Who knows? Perhaps he's grown as a person since our college days together." I was wrong. About two months into the relationship, he cut her loose in the cruelest of fashions: left her hanging at Christmas -- no calls, no explanation, no nothing.

 She was devastated. I was riddled with guilt. Could I, should I have done things differently?

 I mean it's been my experience that people only hear what they want to hear. Furthermore, every time I've spoken my mind about a friend's date that she's not ready to get rid of, it's only caused awkward tension between me and that friend. So the question is: Is there a right way to tell your friend she's dating a dick?

Relationship expert Dr. Susan Campbell says yes. The best way to start off is with a pre-conversation. That way you can sniff out exactly how much honesty your friend expects and/or wants from you.

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One category that seems more likely to befall those poor hapless males time and again is that of the "friend." For whatever reason -- slowness, shyness, failure to launch -- guys sometimes suddenly find themselves in the friend zone when they thought they were still in the new, not-as-yet-defined acquaintance period. Once in, it's hard if not impossible to get out. Can men jump categories, say, from friendship to love interest? "No," says Shannon M. "They [men] only go from bad to worse. They never go from bad to good."

 Jada takes a more equitable stance. "Alcohol helps," she quips.

 "I don't know what that [the friend zone] is," says Zan Perrion, Vancouver's own enlightened seducer , a bit disingenuously. Avoiding the friend zone, he says, is as simple as touching her within minutes of meeting to let her know you're interested in more than friendship. "That way she always knows where she stands with me," says Perrion, "that I'm interested in more than friendship."

 But the friend zone is open to anyone, women included, says Adaline, a 27-year-old recording artist. "I think with the new generation of men who can't commit that anyone can find themselves in the friend zone. Everyone wants to be friends -- different kinds of friends, like maybe a friend-with-benefits. But no one's dating."

 Guys, meanwhile, can lay claim to categorizing in a way that seems peculiar to the male of the species. That is, the tendency to place a woman on a pedestal. Supplicating, fawning, and doofus-like behavior is quick to follow.

Politicians and self-proclaimed "family values advocates" are predicting certain doom in the form of delinquent, uneducated kids living below the poverty level. But this doesn't have to be the reality.

Is single parenthood a good choice?

A good friend of mine recently became a mother for the first time. She is over 40, educated at Cambridge and financially secure. She is also unmarried and plans to stay that way.

Before I met her, I always thought of single mothers as the responsible parents in unfortunate circumstances -- the ones who kept care of their children through divorce or a surprise pregnancy.

But I also joked to my girlfriends (who hasn't?) that if I didn't meet the right guy by the time I hit 35, I'd head on down to my local sperm bank and take care of matters myself.

I would rather be a mother alone than try to do it with the wrong guy.

 And while many of us grew up believing that the average family consists of Mom, Dad, a couple of kids and a dog named Rover, in reality, those types of families are now in the minority.

Even in 1995, the New England Journal of Medicine was reporting, "Public figures depict the typical American household as though it consisted of married couples and their children; in fact, such families make up only 26 per cent of American households.

Similarly, according to the 2000 Bureau of the Census, non-marital cohabitation, separation, and divorce have become more common, as has remarriage. Children living with only one parent (24 per cent) or with "melded" sibships of children from several families (15 per cent) are increasing in number; half of all children in the United States lived or will live with only one parent before reaching adulthood. Most one-parent families (86 per cent) are headed by mothers."

The New England Journal of Medicine also reported that out-of-wedlock births are not just an American phenomenon. "Rates in the United Kingdom, Canada, and France are about the same as those in the United States; rates in Sweden and Denmark are more than 50 per cent higher. The structure of the family is changing rapidly throughout the Western world."

Bad for the kids?

There's a mountain of research suggesting children raised by single mothers are more likely to suffer from poverty, poor grades and psychological problems. However, a 1998 U.S. study at Ohio State University found that the problems were not related so much to the lack of a father but rather to other background factors, such as income, education and occupational prestige. Douglas Downey, co-author of the study said, "Parents with higher socioeconomic status are usually better positioned to create positive family environments."

Cornell researcher Henry Ricciuti says what matters most "is a mother's education and ability level and, to a lesser extent, family income and quality of the home environment." Ricciuti found links between those factors and a child's school performance and behavior, regardless of race.

While much research is focused on single-parent families created by divorce or death, researchers are just beginning to look at single parents by choice.

Louise Sloan, author of Knock Yourself Up: A Tell-all Guide To Becoming A Single Mom says, "I think when a family is set up differently from the beginning -- it's not the traumatic thing that happens when you lose a dad."

And the reality is we've all seen single parents who make it work. They raise great kids, and they do it all by themselves.

But does opting into motherhood mean you're opting out of marriage?

A Guy's Guide to Dating Guys (For Girls)
By Nick Krewen

Ladies, despite rumors to the contrary, we men are very easy to please when it comes to dating.

Basically, you're looking at two essentials: nudity and a six-pack. And since some of us aren't actually drinkers, you can usually forego the brewskis and cut right to the chase.

Yes, some of us cave-dwellers like the simple things in life: A good steak. A 52-inch Widescreen LCD HDTV with SurroundSound and a 5.1 Home Theatre System with enough woofer and tweeter rumble to detach our skulls from our spines.

Maybe a couple of floor seats to an NBA game. Or a sexy woman who shows up at our door wearing nothing but a smile, an oversized trench coat and a pair of thigh-high leather boots.

Show up with all four and watch our eyes light up like a Vegas slot machine and you'll be guaranteed that all-important second call. Heck, because of your initial consideration, we may even call you when we say we will. And if that isn't a prize, I don't know what qualifies.

And maybe... just maybe... we'll let you hold the remote.
          
OK, OK -- so perhaps I'm being a little extreme. Maybe you're just a little too shy to venture into Adam and Eve territory on the first date... especially if it's a blind one and you don't even know his name.
 
Like I said before, it doesn't take rocket science to satisfy us. Here are five suggestions for nudity-optional date scenarios that will let him know you're at least thinking on his wavelength.
 
By the way, these are strictly for the men who ooze machismo. Wimps not need apply.


1. RibFest Date

They say the quickest way to get to a man is through his stomach, and nothing gratifies a guy-gut quicker than hickory-smoked venison smothered in BBQ sauce. RibFests are ideal because not only do they offer a number of mouth-watering choices symbolic of the hunt, they also provide endless amounts of eye candy for both you and him in case you get bored.
 
Helpful Hint: Steer him away from the baked beans side dish.
 
2. WWE Wrestling Date

Nothing says "macho' quite like the sight of two bloodthirsty, steroid-induced goliaths battling it out for scripted glory. It's not so much the fact that arena-shaking body slams and my-dick-is-bigger-than-yours stare-downs heighten the adrenaline rush. It's the sense of competitive one-upmanship and the lesson that people can get ahead in life without resorting to cheating and chair-shots to the head. Had you there, didn't I? Who are we kidding, it's about the gore! Grrr!

Helpful Hint: Pick up one of those gaudy WWE championship belts during intermission, and hand it to him as a prize for pinning your shoulders to the late-night mat, if you understand my drift.  After all, we're all Booker T's just looking for our Queen Sharmel. You'll forever be his Valet of the Dolls.

3. The MotoCross/Truck Pull/Demolition Derby/Monster Truck Showdown Date

Ladies, please note: It only takes one of these events to impress the pants off him -- assuming that's your intention. But if you can find a sporting combo pack that involves at least two, you'll be in like flint. Nothing says "I'm interested in taking this to the next level" like witnessing the carnage inflicted by the 40-foot high Robosaurus as it snaps wrecks in two between its metallic jaws, let alone the impact of Monster Trucks crushing the hoods of other auto castaways. More bonus points: knows the name "Robosaurus."
          
Helpful Hint: If it involves wheels and revving engines, he's hooked.
 
4. The Oktoberfest Date

This one is pretty self-explanatory. Just make sure you are either the designated driver or responsible for the cab, because you know he's going to be chug-a-lugging to his heart's content all night long. What makes this date so much fun is the number of games you can play, from counting the number of cans he crushes on his head to how many beers it takes before he forgets your name. If you're looking at him as strictly a means to an end, this would be the time to bring along that check book or draw up legal documents that entitle you to that smokin' Camaro he has parked in the driveway. He probably won't even remember that he signed it.
 
Helpful Hint: If you allow him to sleep it off on your shoulder on the way home, Scotchguard your clothing in case of unforeseen liquid "accidents."
 
5. The Home Depot Date

You may not know the difference between a Mitre Power Saw and a Black & Decker Drill, but don't worry. Just get him into the building and he'll lead you to the section that intrigues him most. This, aside from any sports event, may be where he's the most talkative. Hopefully that won't bother you. And who knows, you make pick up a few home renovation tips in the process.
          
Helpful Hint:  When feigning interest, try to become aware of when your eyes glaze over. Then again, he may be too preoccupied to notice.
 
So there you have it: Meat. Beer. Wheels. Crashes. Blood. Gore. Power tools. The only thing we're missing is that Def Leppard/Styx/Journey outdoor triple bill that will make him reminisce about all the tavern cover bands he got drunk to that performed the songs almost as well as the live acts.
 
And ladies, if you find none of the above examples appealing or alluring, remember you've always got the ultimate failsafe for a back-up:

Nudity.

"You don't want to just bust in and say, 'I think he's a jerk,'" says Campbell, who holds a PhD in clinical psychology. "I think the first conversation might need to go something like, 'We're really good friends and I want to have the kind of relationship with you where I can say whatever I think and feel even if it's none of my business. Do you want that kind of relationship with me?'"

If, and when, you get the green light for honesty, make sure your opinion is based on facts. Hunches and hearsay won't do when you're dealing with other people's personal business.

 "I don't believe in passing on second-hand information," says Campbell, who has written several books on the subject of honest communication including, Getting Real, Truth in Dating and her latest, Saying What's Real. "Give specific examples -- either something you actually saw [like him in the arms of another woman] or things you remember hearing from her own mouth. So you could say something like, 'You've told me three times that you wanted to break up with this person and then every time you see him, you change your mind.'"

Those are familiar words for Allen, who is living proof that there are just as many male victims of love as there are female. He dated the same evil woman off and on for more than a year. Several friends tried to warn him about her, but he wouldn't listen.

"She was a manipulative liar, which other people saw, but of course I refused to see it -- I was in denial," admits the freelance writer from Winnipeg. "I remember Mary [a friend] telling me that she didn't trust [evil woman] because she had met her at a party where [evil woman] was all over all kinds of guys."

 Dave, another buddy, wasn't as kind in his assessment of Allen's on-again, off-again girlfriend. He repeatedly told Allen, in no uncertain terms, that she was no good and that it was time to move on -- something that Allen wasn't prepared to do at the time.

 "After that I was kind of leery about running into to Dave when I with her," says Allen. "I felt like he was judging me because we had had multiple discussions on the subject."

This is an example of why Campbell warns against making blatant judgment calls. You risk alienating your friend.

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"I wouldn't tell the person 'I think you should dump him or her,'" warns Campbell."[After you've stated your opinion], just give your feelings with phrases like, 'I'm afraid that you're going to get hurt ...', 'I'm concerned that you....' or 'I'm worried that you....' And leave it at that because really, at that point you've done your job. So just honor yourself for taking a big risk on behalf of the friendship."

And in the case of my friend and the non-committal goof who broke her heart?

"I think a lot of times people do have to play it out and do their own thing anyway, so she might have acted exactly the same way [even if you had warned her]," says Campbell, before adding, "But then again, you might have saved yourself some guilt.

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